The Mysteries of Singburi Market

July 5, 2017

The Green Lion

A roll of rice wrapped in salmon and that crispy green stuff. That’s what I like. There’s loads of good food in the world and I see it as my goal in life to try them all, but it’s tough to beat sushi. The scale doesn’t quite agree with me, but food tourism is the best kind of tourism. (To my friends at home: this is not an invite to make sarcastic comments on the size of my ass. If you do, I will fly to Holland just to slap you in the face, then fly back to Asia.)

Anywho. Back to food, away from my ass. I’ve spend a bit of time in Singburi; the city in central Thailand which serves at the base for the TGL Thailand programs. Singburi isn’t a very touristic place; it has plenty of nice sightseeing around, but it isn’t overwhelmed with busloads of tourists. The city centre and some surrounding malls harbor plenty of 7-Elevens, Dairy Queens and even a massive Tesco. Those type of shops make me a happy little camper, because sometimes between all the sticky rice I admit to crave Western food. But.. you’re not going to travel halfway across the globe just to eat at McDonald’s three times a day. Right?

So what do the people of Singburi eat? In part, you’ll experience that in several of the dishes the TGL location provides. For instance, you might be served uncooked white noodles and vegetables, which you then have to pour a sort of boiling broth over, until the noodles turn soft before your eyes. Magic. The Thai cuisine mostly consists of noodles in several types and colors, or rice with stir fried stuff and loads of fish sauce. I’m a fan, but there must be more to Thai life than rice. But I know for a fact that locals don’t really eat the tarantula’s they sell at Khao San Road in Bangkok. Those are just for us silly tourists to post a cool Instagram shot with. So what do the Thai put on their plate? Let’s go to the Singburi market.

At 5 o’clock in the morning, the market gets crowded with people in search of breakfast. From around 4 in the afternoon, the same routine is repeated for dinner. You can either buy ingredients here and cook at home, or buy ready-to-eat dishes and entire desserts. They definitely don’t lack options. The market is a pretty big place, with at least a hundred different stalls. Here, you can browse for the types of fruit you’ve never seen before. (Try the weird red balls with spikes!) Unless you want your tongue to burn off, it’s better to skip the pre-made sauces. They pour those, or hot soup, in a little see-through plastic bag for you. It’s like carrying water balloons in your bag and pray that none of them pop open before you get home. Also known as: living on the edge.

If the standard chicken legs aren’t adventurous enough for your liking, you’re free to upgrade to half a pig’s face. I’m talking ear, eye and half a snout attached. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out if that’s meant to be cooked in a pan as dinner, or fed to your dog. The sweetness of fruit and the scent of dead meat will attract impressive amounts of flies. The gents and gals of the Singburi market have a system to keep flies away. They wrap plastic bags to the end of a stick and wave that around all day, above their produce. It sorta works. Kinda. Other vendors simply stopped caring and let their products become a paradise for bugs. Happy shopping.

Now walk to the right corner. This is the place to buy animals that are still alive. Have a chat with the youngest shopkeeper, who is eager to practice English. Her neighbour’s catfish is so fresh, it can literally fly out of the basket. They’re stored in small buckets of water with a dozen other friends, all nice and snug. One fish made his fruitless move towards freedom and jumped out next to a participants ankle, causing us to squeal. The shopkeeper laughed at us. We’re softies, I know. I’ve seen a vendor put a few fish out on the table for the customer to make his pick. They poked them to decide which one is the freshest. The trooper that still flopped around the most, was considered the winner. This process makes sense, but by the looks of it, it had been going on for about ten minutes. It was difficult to decide which fish was having a rest from flopping or was already dead. Other buckets contained live snakes or about 60+ frogs jammed together. Here I was, thinking frogs and snails are something crazy that is only served by overpriced French restaurants.

Opposite the fish-torture centre, you’ll find the “I love yooouuuuu”-lady. (You can see her enthusiastically waving in the video!). She doesn’t speak any English, but evidently isn’t afraid to profess her undying love for strangers that walk pass. I sheepishly replied “Gee thanks, I love you tooooo”, but the next day I found out how deep her love for me really went. I came back with some other participants, and she shouted the same thing to them. Lady, why did you betray me? I thought we had something special.

With all the dead stuff, the noise and the smell of meat combined with sewage, a trip to the market might not be for the most fainted hearted. But boy oh boy, is it cool.